The truth is that my month of meditation has not led to a regular practice, but it has led to regular practice writ large. Let me explain...

I don't wake up every morning, roll over, and head to sit on the mat, as I have always aspired to. Some mornings I do this, most I don't. I still dream of having a ritual of meditation that is consistent, organic, and integral to my life. I haven't given that up.

What I have learned to do is keep my dream alive, without beating myself up about it's delayed manifestation. I have also learned to turn to meditative practices--breathing, being mindful, being metta lovin'--at all kinds of moments through out my strange days. While standing at the airport waiting to board and watching the people pace and crowd, I think, "Here's an opportunity to breathe, to be patient, to trust the universe that I will board when it's right." Having a tool that helps me resist that groupthink of panic and push is an incredible gift.

I hosted a big summit, in which I was responsible for coordinating a huge range of technical needs, desires, relationships, and expectations. I would have been in big trouble, I fear, had I not had meditative tools at my disposal. Every once in awhile, I would steal away and take a deep breath, center myself, find my own inner voice, my own inner measure of how the event was going--and then head back out into the fray.

I am thinking so much more about my quality of attention, leaving my cell phone and /or iPod beyond at times that I would have clung to it like a little lifeline. I want to see, hear, experience my life. I want to breathe the air and notice the little miracles. I want to be grateful for everything even in the midst of chaos and difficulty.

So while I continue to strive for that daily, organic ritual, I remain deeply grateful for the practice I have incorporated into my life, and the ways in which the meditative tools Sharon gave me are so much more available and immediate to me.