I don't feel like meditation is changing my life yet.
Is it supposed to be changing my life yet??
I'm sitting every day, for twenty minutes, following Sharon's beautiful directions, but I still feel like the same high-energy, run-in-ninety-directions-at-once Emily!
Maybe it takes longer for me. Just over the past few sits, I feel like I've caught a glimpse, in the final moments of my sit, of what meditation can feel like at its best: a taste of that state of inspiration, insight, and peace. I know that no matter what it won't always be like that. I hope it'll be like that a bit more often, so it's me bringing my focus back to the breath for the zillionth time a bit less often...
The past few sits, I've been following my breath, waiting for a feeling to come up to take me away from my breath, and no feeling has. I can't figure this out. Am I pushing the feelings away? Am I an emotionless robot? Am I getting too good at following my breath? Ok, those last two are DEFINITELY not it.
Maybe today I'll see what happens if I meditate in the morning.
AND maybe today I'll let go of the results, and just enjoy the ride.