I think the hamster is finally down for a nap. I tried meditating in my bedroom this evening, rather than my living room. And earlier than last night. One of my hamster thoughts is that my kids or my husband will interrupt me. And, I ask myself, so what if they do? It's not that I'm worried about being irritated, I think I feel... embarrassed. Not quite comfortable in my meditative skin I suppose, or confident enough to request the space.
My room was quiet and I tool comfort in the lock on my door. I had a good 3 or 4 breaths that felt like heaven tonight. That I wasn't in charge of the in and out breaths, that me and the breath were just melting together. Nothing felt forced or awkward. I found that the breath/not breath noting helped me for about half the time, until it became sort of a backdrop for my thoughts.
Tomorrow I'm going to try an early morning meditation to see how that feels.
I have a special request too. I have a dear friend, Rachel, who is in the hospital. She's facing a scary time and if you think of it in your next lovingkindess meditation, could you send Rachel some energy?
Thank you.
Comments
I'm also holding Rachel in my
I'm also holding Rachel in my lovingkindness meditation. When I've been in a scary or hard situation, it's made a difference to me to know others are doing lovingkindness for me (and of course it's helped me renew lovingkindness for myself)
Your description of melting into the breath was very beautiful. It's remarkable how just 3 or 4 breaths like that can be such a relief, isn't it?
Metta Request Heard
I will dedicate my next meditation to Rachel. I will also do a Tonglen meditation for her. Something I've done many times and enjoy doing deeply. Best wishes...
Over the road
We have a very very noisy, aggressive, desensitised family. The mother is quite psycho and lays into her kids, verbally abusing, maybe more, who knows? usually more than twice a day. No abusive words are left out, her anger filling the whole street. The kids are old enough to argue back now, and they do.
It's like yin and yang, having us across the road, a peaceful, quiet, meditative family with the very occasional angry emotion getting expressed, talked about, and hopefully forgiven.
However, I see the people across the street as teachers, teaching me how NOT to be, or how NOT to talk to people, especially to my family, friends, or anyone else come to that matter.
As I sat for my evening meditation last night, just a few seconds after closing my eyes, the mother stated to have another rant and rave, as usual, very loudly. It didn't bother me. At that moment, automatically, I sent some loving Metta to her. Lo and behold, she stopped a second later. A coincidence or not who knows, however, something changed. Some magic happened.
After sending out the Metta, I had a very peaceful, breathe focused, meditation.
Yes
Absolutely Katie, I will send your friend Rachel lovingkindness.
And while I'm at it, I will send it to you as well. I think I know how you feel about practicing meditation with your husband and children nearby. I always felt self conscious. Should I make an announcement? I wondered before I sat down. Once my husband walked into the room where I was meditating, took a seat, and I could feel him watching me. I told him, nicely, that meditation was not a spectator sport, and we had a good chuckle.
Flash forward a couple of years, and I'm much more comfortable in my practice. I've let go about what anyone else might think if they see me or interrupt me. My husband has done that a few times, not realizing that I'm meditating, and neither of us makes a fuss about it now. I wish my sons and husband would meditate, because I feel so much better when I do, but they don't. I do, however, love the idea that they've seen me take time out for myself to breathe, take care of myself, and find moments of peace. That's a good thing to model, I think...
Good luck!