I am driving steadily, but some days I have no traction and go slip-sliding away from the path I'm trying to stay on.
This is what comes to mind after my Day 7 meditation, a very short one (13 minutes) since my subconscious kicked me loose from what was an unending barrage of distractions.
Since I've been meditating without a timer and I've promised myself I won't open my eyes and peek to see how long I've been sitting, I do what my body says. Today it said, "You're had enough," and though I tried not to judge what had happened, it was short of previous days.
Maybe it's the head cold. Maybe it's the congestion and the breathing like a fierce gale or the non-breathing because I'm stuffed. Whatever it is, I was tense and thoughts clouded my clear skies. I was distracted.
I've been thinking about the word distraction. Distraction. Dis-traction. If traction is adhesive friction or a pulling force, then shouldn't distraction be something other than 'mental confusion'? Based on what I've experienced today, I was experiencing traction of a sort -- but traction created by external factors. My thoughts had too much traction in a place I've been working hard to make smooth, seamless, and empty. But traction kept things sticking.
For tomorrow, I'm promising myself a gift of sorts -- after all, tomorrow's my birthday. The gift I've been holding onto and will open tomorrow is Sharon's wisdom. I'm planning to use her guided meditation (tracks 1, 2, and 3 in the CD included with Real Happiness) to break this current state I'm in. I'll report back on how things go.