It’s February 1st and the bloggers are out of the gate. They’re posting their way into a commitment of 28 days of meditation. I have not begun. I am late. I wait until midday to sit still. How many times have I avoided beginning something because I was afraid that I would fail or did not know how to do it right, or I would come in last. I close my eyes. I feel a clench inside my gut. I hear the engine of the car always waiting for me with the door open and motor revving and the mega phone blaring, “You’re late. Go. Don’t just sit there do something!” My heart’s racing. Then Sharon’s dulcet voice comes in to remind me it’s just the sensations of the breath that matter now. Rising and falling. Rest on the breath. A tiny bell rings. Get Ready, Get Set, Rest.
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Day 5
Up at 4:00 AM- to the airport and take 6:00 flight to colorado- I arrive with a cold. I never get colds and have just finished taking antibiotics for a bad cough and now a new head cold. Guess that I am finally giving in and letting
my body do what it needs to. I find a quiet corner in the spa here and wrap myself up in my orange shawl and listen
to a water fall nearby. I really try and listen to how water sounds when it is faling on rocks. Breathing listening breathing listening mind wandering breathing listening. Detachment is the lesson of the day. I am beginning to see how attached I am to outcomes. How hard it is for me to let things be. To just delight in what is happening around me. I watch the Superbowl tonight practicing detachment. Fun exercise. I tend to be a very loud soccer Subtle and wonderful changes are happening for me and I am enjoying walking down this meditation journey.
Day 4
Full day hanging out with our son and a friend and then getting ready to go skiing for 2 weeks out west-
I walk and then stretch and then settle on to my zafu that sits in the corner of our
grandchildren's bunk room- very peaceful and comforting place- warm light shines on the palm trees
outside- I like this spot that I have made-
I start the meditation with the idea of continuing to observe my breath- Just let it be-
As soon as I bring my awareness to the breath I start to control it- So I put all my attention at my third
eye and try to be an observer of the breath looking down from high above- I have seconds of letting the breath be-
And so this is my focus this week- to be mindful and gentle and observe- not control- to not want anything to be other then it is-
Day 3
This morning I read the first Chapter in Real Happiness that covers breathing and concentration-
In my meditation I tried to focus on my breath to hold it gently- I found it hard- Once I started to focus on my breathing my breathing became forced- How to focus gently and let go- to let it be- I began to realize
that when I focus on something I want to control it and so the lesson today is to enjoy focusing on something but let it be and enjoy what it is and watch it evolve but mostly just delight in it as it is-
Day 2
All day I am aware of my breath- It is helping me to stay centered and focused-I make a place to meditate both physically and mentally- No question "this I will do"-Sitting ,orange shawl over my shoulders, I begin-I am aware of how tight I am holding my body and I let go part by part-
There are sounds outside- I center on my third eye- Buddha appears like a jewel lit from behind- my mantra
is the earth beneath him- I am on a journey and have found a companion-
Day 1
I am a doer ,a women of action and I am more comfortable with images then words- To sit and then write
would not be my first choice and so here I am on day 1 committing to 28 days of meditation and writing about it and mysteries of mysteries it all feels exactly where I want to be -where I have been avoiding and yet what my destiny has always been- I must say that all the support I feel all around is helping-
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