My body tells me that she is tired. My brain also complains. At this moment, I can only acknowledge their tiredness and frustration. Poor brain and body, even when you are worn out, you still have to help Yishin think and help her go through the day. What can Yishin do without you. Perhaps a brain and body spa will help? Maybe some body scanning during the day? Maybe some more attention and gentle mindfulness?
Oh swiffer pads where are you? I have spent way too much time looking for the swiffer pads. This is where my mind is right now. Nothing bright to say, nothing sad, nothing happy, no insights or realizations. Just where in the world did I put them? My room is not that big so I cannot imagine where they could have gone. My mind has created about ten different scenarios as to where I might have put them, including under my dirty clothes in the laundry basket. Getting desperate when my mind imagines they could be there, why would I put swiffer pads under dirty laundry. Not so logical, but that is where my mind goes... and I follow.
February 14, 2012 AKA Valentines Day
Sarah: Quieting my mind so that I can see who I am. It is my opportunity to listen to what is there. So much of my years I spent looking outside of myself, trying to be something else, trying to fit into others shoes. Now it is my time to be myself.
Breathing feeling sensing. So happy to be meditating with you and deeply valuing my conversations with Yishin and Home!
Yes, I find myself overwhelmed by all the work I have to do. Meditation did help me to feel less overwhelmed. It took my longer to react to my “busy” “anxious” feelings. I know that I am busy, I know that I am anxious, but I choose not to get too nervous, maybe just for a couple of minutes... maybe that’s enough. I think meditation has helped me pause (mentally) in my busy life.
When I meditated this morning, strong exciting thoughts came up. I realized that they made me very happy. I was so happy and contented because I saw that I had experienced so many wonderful moments in my life. And because I am alive, I can continue to do so. I also felt really happy that my parents are still alive both physically and in me. So I was very happy. Perhaps too happy that I couldn’t focus on my breath. So I tried to pull myself back to breathing, watching my happiness, and letting it go. Anyways, despite worries and the loads of work I have everyday, my life is pretty good :)