These last few days, I have been restless.  Tossing and turning at night.  Can't sleep.  Something has been stirred up.

I am in a fairly new relationship with a wonderful man.  This is so good.  But, I have only this past year left a thirty year relationship.  Every once in a while, something happens that re-ignites the anger and the hurt around that old one.

So, I meditate.  I sit and say the mantra.   Be Still, for I am enough.  This was a major issue for me in those thirty years.  I felt, rightly or wrongly, that I was never enough, never "right."  I was "too much" or "not enough." Or too messy or too "in your face." 

The point is that I let someone else define me.   I did not truly love my own precious self. The meditation exercise has stirred this up: when I take the time to sit, to be still, I KNOW that I am enough.  I am good.  I feel connected to something larger than me and to this or any other 'relationship.

This is a small good thing. I think I will continue this challenge.

Oh, it was only nineteen minutes today.  But, calming. Centering.

Thanks.