I meditated indoors today. A first! Twenty three minutes-- I don't time the sessions-- instead, I try to feel when I've reached a good place.
So, I sat, cross-legged, back arched, pelvis tilted forward. This posture is an important part of the practice. I tend to hunch, to not sit up straight. Yet, I do not want the straight lined thing I was taught as a young "lady." I want to experience my self rising up from my sacrum, up from the seat to face the world. So, I focus on tilting the pelvis forward.
Ok, enough about that. I am still out in Yosemite. And I have mentioned my guy. Today, he said he would meditate with me. He used to "do" meditation in college and right after and loved it but quit. Why do we quit? Life is busy.
So, without a lot of ceremony, I decided we would meditate indoors, in the solarium. We sat. He is very fit--heart rate of a twenty year old. Slim, energetic. But, oh, not so flexible. Sitting was painful for him.
We began, facing each other on little cushions. I immediately fell into a rhythmic breathing. In. Out. IN. OUT. Long slow deep breaths. I felt him straining. Maybe I should help him out--get him to sit partly OFF the cushion so his pelvis would tilt forward. BACK TO THE BREATH.
Breath. Silence. Deep palpable silence. Embracing me. Holding me. Sunlight shifting through the blinds. Late afternoon. Shifting and hitting my eyes. Eyes are squinting. Let go. Breath. Let go. No tension. Lift my trunk toward the sky. OH, this is less tense.
Larry is laboring. So hard to sit upright with tight hamstrings. OH... he will be all right. Back to the breath.
Stephen Cope--THE WISDOM OF YOGA great book...maybe I should interview him. Or post his words on this blog. BACK TO THE BREATH. TO THE SILENCE.
Say the mantra. Focus on the mantra. BE STILL, FOR I AM GOD.
Thats a bit much. BE STILL, FOR I AM ENOUGH. I AM ENOUGH. I AM ENOUGH.
I am enough. I do not need to go research Stephen Cope or to help my sweetie or write another proposal for funding for my new film and am I even GOING TO MAKE A NEW FILM??!!? Wonder if I am a one film WONDER???? BE STILL.
BREATHE. BREATH. IN OUT IN OUT STILLNESS.
23 minutes and I feel calm. Open.
Larry looks a me. I look at him. We talk. He says he had a million thoughts. One right after the other. But, there was spaciousness in between. I looked at him. Listened. So happy. So calm. We are here, today. Together.
Thank you, Ambika. Thank you, Courtney. Thank you, Sharon.