Here I go!

I started my meditation challenge today, a day earlier.  I figure it would do me good to be a day ahead.  I have tried many times to meditate.  I am married to a Zen Buddhist lay priest and after 20+ years of being together, you would think I caught his habits.  But no, I have had many starts and stops, always knowing it would be good for me, but failing along the way.  I also come to the challenge as someone raised in Latin America with strong Christian roots, a divinity degree, Quaker meetings, Unitarian Universalist beliefs, politically liberal, etc.  In a few words, my head is always busy with associations, thoughts and reflections. Hate to miss the news, NPR, etc.  My tendency is to want to simply start praying, emptying my mind, thinking someone is listening.  Becoming my breath's best friend will take some time... I can see it already.

I am filled with good will and hope it will carry me though the next 28 days.  I travel quite a bit for my work, mostly to places where internet access is not easily available.  The challenge comes to my life at a time when my life is filled with "challenge" at all counts. I have ill loved ones in this country and abroad. My work is uncertain after a few months. I have moved away from my support system and am facing some daunting existential questions about my future.  So today, after a few hours in front of a computer screen, I went for it.  I followed Sharon's lead for 14 + minutes.  I hang in there with the presenting thoughts, kissed them hello and waved them goodbye.  I am hoping that I can do the same with life's problems, at least metaphorically, not be afraid of them and send them home when I need a rest.

 I have traveled to conduct a meeting in another state and I am snowed in. It means the meeting may not go, even though people are counting on me.  Strangely tonight, I have peace about it when I would ordinarily be stressing out about calling folks to cancel, etc. I am deciding to wait until the morning and let the weather be the process that it is... I need to learn from it as well, be the process that I am... at least for now.  It is so hard to be in life as an unknown, specially when loved ones are aching.

Best wishes to all in the "challenge", myself included.

Selena

 

 

 

 

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Comments by this author

a big hearted thanks!    Feb 14, 2011

Dear Sharon:

I was at the doctor's office trying to set up an...

Hello Pam    Feb 12, 2011

Pam:

So good to find you in the "challenge". I enjoyed reading...

Nothing better than solidarity    Feb 12, 2011

Dear Ambika:

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. It means the world.  I...