Still here, sick and stuffed-up. Though yesterday the body called for rest, I felt it was also calling for meditation. In bed I scanned my body with as much awareness as I could muster, then watched my breath. I tried to observe my unwell body, its heaviness and stillness. I also noticed what lurked underneath: a healthy body/mind wanting to breakthrough, be present. This was a good sick sit because my emotions were on an even keel: I neither forced myself back to health or made myself sicker with fear. I sometimes feel a real sense of freedom from being sick. It is organic stillness, full of pauses and surrender. When I don’t fight, I’m much more comfortable. When I’m not letting go or listening, even the act of meditating is impossible or unbearable. Last night I had enough energy for ten minutes full of pause.

