As I practiced today’s body scan, I noticed my breath getting short. I felt a lump in my throat and I couldn’t take a deep breath. This is not an unusual feeling when I meditate (which is why I often use hearing as my anchor rather than the breath). But when Sharon’s voice instructed me to bring my attention to my chest, I felt something new. Intense and fluttering tightness. A hint of pain in my chest, very fleeting, lasting less than a second. A whisper of panic.
What was new, I think, was my openness to feeling this subtle feeling. It just felt different. I can’t quite put words to it. It felt both deeper and lighter than what I usually experience. More intense and more refined. It certainly wasn’t pleasant. But it was there and then, as my attention moved down to my abdomen, it wasn’t.