Oh my unquiet mind, how you provoke me. I think I got cocky about the body scan today. I think I projected far too much confidence regarding my ability to ROCK the body scan (first mistake: you do NOT rock anything during meditation). Needless to say, my brain was far too interested in planning recipes, writing future blogs and noticing the smells coming from my neighbours condo to spend some time doing the assigned internal work…However, I only noticed that was happening about the time Sharon had moved on to what my nose felt like.
Humility is a wonderful thing when trying to reestablish a meditation practice. Humility and beginner’s mind go together hand in hand. Today, I got a dose of the former, so as to reinvigorate the latter. Some days it is just going to be difficult to lasso my attention and hog tie it into submission. Acceptance is a process and I am still at the beginning. That being said, I was nevertheless pleased to observe myself not reacting too negatively to my physical ailments during today’s exercise. What would normally have turned into a jaw-clenching, joint-stiffening, anxiety-riddled anger session, was actually quite relaxing, despite the inconsistent focus. I think this is still progress.