Hello again to everyone, all 14000 of you! How wonderful to be able to share this month with you virtually.
Due to sleeplessness, my meditation arrived at 3:30 this morning. Because I couldn’t concentrate on sleep due to anxious thoughts about today, I just decided to light a candle, get something warm to sip, set my timer and sit. Surprisingly 25 minutes turned into 50. And getting back to sleep happened (I noticed when I woke at 6:30.)
What did I do? I sat with my breath. I often worry that I should doing other things too like watching for “insights.” That’s a bit of confusion for me still. But at this point I’ve learned that staying in the concentration of breath allows for what seem like insights to arise. But these insights I realize are also arisings that pass away, and so I note them and let them go trusting that something is happening – progress? not so much. I do notice that a feeling of spaciousness happens. In this spaciousness visualizations begin to occur. I notice them without paying them too much mind. Sometimes I might see a colored shape or something like that floating around and I train my concentration onto that for as long as I can. But when that becomes too difficult or unruly, I turn back to my breath. It’s the most reliable object of concentration I’ve been able to find so far.
I’ll likely sit again this evening and wait to read all of your insights as the month begins.