This week’s focus on Mindfulness of the Body and today’s guided meditation by Sharon on sensation have created several dilemmas for me.
First was that I’m not overly aware my body — even though I practice mindfulness, yoga, tai chi. So why is this? Denial? Suppression? Or nothing more complicated than a lack of awareness?
Second, was that too much exertion in several yoga classes at the start of the week resulted in my being only too aware of bodily discomforts. With the resulting woe-is-me’s that I’m getting old. And, are these are symptoms of something worse? Lung cancer? Tuberculosis?
So I missed a couple of days of yoga, took a couple of ibuprofen, rested, and went to bed early last night.
Today, I awoke early enough to sit and take in the 6:30 am yoga class. Before starting, I mentioned to the teacher the aches I’d experienced and that I’d dial it back a bit today in class. She adjusted the class accordingly, as did I, and all is well. Physically. But what about mentally? Having listened to Sharon’s lesson before yoga class about sensation meditation, I tried to be aware.
Coming from where I’d been through the week so far with my enthusiasm/exertion in class and then my misgivings, doubts, and fears, perhaps I was more aware this morning’s class about my body. But none more-so than during savasana. Corpse pose. And what that means in terms of bodily sensation and awareness. So, going from lots to be aware of to trying to relax, it went further, to “What will my body be doing once breathe becomes air?” My immediate reaction was that it’s not really that a big transition in terms of time or space.
One second, you’re there.
The next? I’m not sure where. But it wasn’t with premonition or worry about what’s next.
BUT, I was convinced that I still need to feel alive and more importantly, be more aware of the life I have, now.
“Its not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” ~ Hans Selye
with mettā, Rod