Day 1

This is my third year and I have to say I have dropped out pretty quickly the first two times. This year, just like the last two, I vowed to really do it–to put aside 15 minutes or so each day and follow the guided mediation and to read the book as I went along, a pot of tea waiting for me at the end.

I am reflecting on the reasons I gave up the last two years and I realize that I’ve always given up when it didn’t go perfectly. So I would miss one day and feel like everything was ruined and just give up. I ended up feeling like a failure–the exact opposite of the sort of self-care I was seeking. It backfired because I was too rigid and expected everything would go exactly as planned and got mad and actually punished myself (with negative feelings) when it didn’t go perfectly.

Tonight I am realizing what an unrealistic expectation I had for myself, and I am setting some new goals for the next 28 days and for all the days I have. I am going to be nicer to myself. I am not going to assume that everything is going to go exactly as planned. I am going to do my best every day to juggle all that I am doing, and some days this will involve a check in the box beside each planned task, but some days it will not. That’s OK. I’m not going to give up because it isn’t perfect.

 


May all beings be happy ♡