Day 19 – Challenging Emotions

I wasn’t feeling anger when I sat down… and it’s not something that arises often, but I have been feeling it more lately (because of a particular situation). I didn’t really want to bring anger forth–it’s uncomfortable enough when it arises organically. I don’t tend to push it away (any more); I’m more likely to become identified with it.

When anger arises in me, there’s almost always hurt, sadness, a childlike need/demand for attention, frustration (which in turn is born out of confusion, at least in this context). I’m pretty quick to feel the pain and hurt, more than continuing in rage (though sometimes that happens, too).

In this particular context, I’m hyper-aware that the emotions are directly linked to which thoughts I believe about the situation. So I kind of vacillate between hurt and anger.

Painful emotions are the hardest ones for me to stay curious about. They’re the hardest to sit with (along with “boredom”). My mind just runs away with me. So I really appreciate this reminder to stay curious. With “pain” like grief or sadness, I find it easier to be curious, to remind myself that it’s part of the human experience, that resistance increases the pain… but with anger, my mind tends to get caught up in right/wrong.

The idea that it’s not “my” anger but just “anger” is helpful, too.

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May all beings be happy ♡