In today’s meditation, I felt anger in the body. But, I noticed a lot of fear. I imagined arguing with someone and immediately felt fear. I was afraid of what the anger would become and that it would go too far. Then the fear changed to just anger. Then to loneliness. There was heaviness and a darkness, which seemed to first come from the mind. Maybe thoughts? My jaw was tight and I was holding onto the anger, unwilling to let it go. But, then it dissipated. The most interesting part of this experience is the awareness that anger is a lonely place. It cuts me off from others and from my heart. I never noticed the lonely part of anger before today.
My mind kept wandering and I was thinking about many things. A few times I forgot to bring my attention back to the breath and went into a long story in my head. I then came back to noticing the breath; my noting was a bit loud and forced. But, I relaxed and softened.