So much thinking. I thought I was staying pretty focused, and then nope, there’s another thought: Debating whether to distract my kitten from clawing the underside of the box spring. Considering going to Home Depot to buy pegboard to put under box spring. Should I text my ex happy birthday? What am I going to write on the blog (ooh, how meta-with-one-t)? What is that sound? Is my kitten going to bring me a ball to fetch while I’m meditating? I have to plan my projects for the year. And I have to read one manuscript today and pick up another from the printer. Oh damn, I have to finish my tax prep. What should I have for breakfast? Ooh, maybe I can get a cute photo of Ariel on the zafu. Etc. etc.
My thoughts aren’t particularly interesting.
I don’t chastise myself when I’m distracted, and most of the time, I’m able to come back to the breath (for a few seconds, before the next thought takes over). My self-talk is only negative (these days) when something old is triggered in some way, though for a long time (the years before I began meditating) my inner dialogue was an abusive tirade towards myself. I’m grateful that’s not the case now.