Flow Through

I got a chance to be with familiar sensations today.  Pressurized head, tight chest, hard eyes; all familiar feelings when I get upset.  There is an undercurrent of thought that anticipates the relief of this. When will it go away?  I know that it will change.  But when, dang it?  And there is more.

As I imagined the yearning thoughts for change flying away like beautiful birds, I experienced something new.  Something beyond the hard stop of unpleasant sensation that I tire of feeling.  Breath, energy, and awareness began to expand beyond the pressurized, the tight, the hard.  I experienced Flow Through.

From this new place I observed the hard stop as a brace against these unpleasant sensations for me.  The more I braced, the more hyper focused I became on the sensation and the desire for it to change.  But the letting go of just one thing, the yearning thoughts for change, weakened the brace.  It softened the hard stop and more began to Flow Through.