“Simply begin again”… We’ve heard this so many times, from so many different teachers. But there’s nothing mentally ‘simple’ about flexing the muscle of non-attachment. We are fighting tons of contradictory conditioning & an insane amount of cultural messaging that begs us to attach in our daily lives.
Although I feel like I’ve taken great strides in allowing myself to wander & come back – thousands of times – on the cushion, I don’t often allow such compassion to show up in ‘the world’. Today I spent some time thinking about how I talk to myself at home & at work, how meditation has changed these reactions & how far I still need to go.
Sharon’s blog today spoke of returning to “Square One” & how thats not such a bad place to be… my gut reaction? “Thats terrible! Square One? What about all that progress?! Its like STARTING OVER! Ugh.” But I had to laugh, because logically I realize that starting over doesn’t erase progress.
Each time I screw up, say something unkind, or act unskillfully, it doesn’t change the path that I am on. It doesn’t change the goals I am working towards or the person that I am. Today’s meditation reminded me that I can start over infinite amounts of times, and that is indeed the work.