My earliest meditation training and practice was in a yoga tradition which demanded a warrior’s spirit, mind, and body. Always. I almost never was able to live up to the daily demands of the discipline over the years, even when I lived and worked in the ashram for a time. But I loved the yoga and the powerful experiences I often had in meditation, and of course there were the quite extraordinary people one was sure to meet, and for a long time it was a spiritual home to which I could always return, usually after big life changes–weakness, guilt and all. I can’t imagine who I would be without that history, which ultimately led to training in healing work and helped me to recognize my own courage. I would not take anything for it. But this morning I was moved to tears during meditation by Sharon’s gentle reminder to extend lovingkindness to myself first, and how warm and good that suddenly felt, and my immediate thought of how wonderful it would feel to be in that place all the time. To not include compassion for myself as a sensible add-on to compassion for all other beings, but to extend it to myself first should not seem new. Save yourself first and then you can save others is a common rule. But for whatever reason, this meditation had a profound effect on me.
I hope this is not too personal for our forum. I feel like I know now why I am here, right now, dedicating this month to spirit, sharing with all of you, hoping to find my way home.
May all beings be safe. May all beings be healthy. May all beings be happy. May all beings find enlightenment.