Last night at a friend's house, a man talked to us about being like an ocean. I am the ocean in which waves come up and fade away. Some really intense, some tiny, and they all are of the ocean; of me. We have a deep deep longing to be fully aware of this moment. The present one. That this moment needs no improvement. That our mind is a 24hr service that has all kinds of thoughts and ideas for improvement of this and that and ideas of how to get "there" where we'll be happy, but that deeper down, we remember that being awake, totally aware in this moment is all we truly want. I felt so comforted.
This was so interesting to bring to my sit this morning. I really slowed down in scanning my body. It was gentle, slow. There was no "there" to get to, only awareness. After a bit I could feel tiny pulsation in my hands, arms and abdomen. I noticed twitches, one kept repeating itself in my left thumb, which made me smile. I don't know why. This sense of being the acceptance of each and every "wave" whether a thought, twitch, or pulse, made me patient and curious and caring.
By the end of the 30 minutes I felt grateful for having been so interested and present. Tears suddenly gushed and I let them. They slowed, then stopped. I noticed throughout today times that would make me smile. I don't know why. Little tiny things. And things that made my skin prickle. Maybe that's what the ocean feels like being the place for all its gazillion waves rising and subsiding.