So subtle I almost missed it…and then….

Sitting in meditation today I took note of the times I came back to the breath and at first I didn’t notice anything.  I thought “Isn’t that interesting, there is nothing there.” And to be honest, I was a little full in that moment of thinking, wow, I don’t have that harshness anymore.  This thought stream gave way again to noticing that I was away from the breath and as I came back again I noticed a voice, it was loud this time: “Do it RIGHT and get it DONE!”  Shew, as I sat with that in a moment of almost disbelief a new layer of awareness cracked open.  One where I felt the presence of this energy “Do it RIGHT and get it DONE!” in my life and actions with great clarity.  Like an operating software that runs in the system background – not seen in the foreground – yet drives the system.  To make any refinements in the system, one must first be aware of what is in need of refinement.  I feel grateful for this practice today and the opportunity to hear this voice who, while familiar, I thought I have moved beyond.  This taskmaster is a part of human me.  I can welcome compassion for it, as I know at one point(s) in my life this voice served a purpose for me and saved me from experiencing other discomfort.  Now, it is out of date; it is not optimal.  Now I have other tools.