TRUST

The word I landed on in today’s meditation is trust. Having just moved across the country, I am fluctuating between excitement and some primal fear/survival coming to the surface. Everything is okay. Truly. But being so far out of my familiar way of living catches me in moments of not being able to catch my breath. Staying present in meditation helps me stay present in the rest of the day and not future trip.

This wild balance of being present and open, and then also taking actions towards the future while trusting the present. I heard someone say once that her baseline is being in bed with pizza and beer – anything beyond that is a miracle. I relate! I wonder if this resistance to life and effort and participation is universal or certain people (like myself) have taken on these “issues” in this lifetime?

All this is to say I feel my resistance today. I feel my fear. I feel my desire to participate and my willingness to do so through the resistance and fear by the sheer act of showing up for the meditation today and taking a moment to write about it here.

I was fairly wiggly and restless in today’s guided meditation and the 11 minutes I took after . . . even picking up the phone to check how much time was left (one minute)! I found in that last minute keeping my eyes open and looking out the window at the rain, going back to my word of “trust” and breath allowed me to truly land in my chair. . . . right at the end!

How much room it takes
to allow ourselves to be
simply here right now?

Happy meditating and blessings, Victoria

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