Episode Description

For episode 284, devon and nico hase return to the Metta Hour to speak with Sharon about their new book, This Messy, Gorgeous Love: A Buddhist Guide to Lasting Partnership. devon and nico serve as guiding teachers of the online dharma community Refuge of Belonging. They teach at the Insight Meditation Society, Spirit Rock, and other centers, offer online and in-person retreats, and speak with students in one-on-one sessions. Their first book How Not to Be a Hot Mess, came out in 2020 and their 2026 release, This Messy, Gorgeous Love, is now available in paperback and audiobook formats. This is devon and nico’s second appearance on the Metta Hour.

In this conversation, Sharon, devon and nico speak about:

• After the “happily ever after”

• Approaching relationship as practice

• The healing of deep listening

• Common myths of relationship

• Buddhist personality types

• Dukkha (suffering) in relationship

• Impermanence informing connection

• Forgiveness practice

• Different conflict styles

• Learning how to repair after rupture

• Making room for play and joy

• Supporting other’s joy

• devon & nico's three-year retreat

Additional Resources

This episode closes with a guided appreciation practice led by devon. Learn more about devon and nico’s new book This Messy, Gorgeous Love and other offerings, by visiting their website right here.

Join nico and Sharon virtually on May 9th, 2026 for a daylong teaching on The Fire That Sustains.

Related Metta Hour Episodes

Episode 142 devon & craig hase from the Real Change Series, released in 2020. Please note: nico has changed his name, and previously went by craig in his this previous podcast appearance.

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